Imagleek's Blog

Myths and Facts About Grief

MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.

Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

MYTH: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.

Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.

MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.

Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

MYTH: Grief should last about a year.

Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.

source: http://helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

Death is fearful because It doesn’t choose those who are young or old, or sick or healthy, it just chooses. Randomly. That’s what makes it scary.

Teens & Young people dealing with loss

‘Teens are no longer children, yet neither are they adults. With the exception of infancy, no developmental period is so filled with change as adolescence. Leaving the security of childhood, the adolescent begins the process of separation from parents. The death of a parent or sibling, then, can be a particularly devastating experience during this already difficult period.’

Signs a Teen May Need Extra Help

Be on the watch for:

symptoms of chronic depression, sleeping difficulties, restlessness and low self esteem
academic failure or indifference to school-related activities
deterioration of relationships with family and friends
risk-taking behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse, fighting, and sexual experimentation
denying pain while at the same time acting overly strong or mature.

source: http://www.hospicenet.org/html/teenager.html

‘Helping Children Grieve

Children who experience a major loss may grieve differently than adults. A parent’s death can be particularly difficult for small children, affecting their sense of security or survival. Often, they are confused about the changes they see taking place around them, particularly if well-meaning adults try to protect them from the truth or from their surviving parent’s display of grief.

Limited understanding and an inability to express feelings puts very young children at a special disadvantage. Young children may revert to earlier behaviors (such as bed-wetting), ask questions about the deceased that seem insensitive, invent games about dying or pretend that the death never happened.

Coping with a child’s grief puts added strain on a bereaved parent. However, angry outbursts or criticism only deepen a child’s anxiety and delays recovery. Instead, talk honestly with children, in terms they can understand. Take extra time to talk with them about death and the person who has died. Help them work through their feelings and remember that they are looking to adults for suitable behavior.’

i found this from the website http://www.healthyplace.com/depression/grief/coping-with-loss-bereavement-and-grief/menu-id-68/page-2/

although it is not useful to me as i dont want my main character to be a child and the insight into this could influence what my lead character could feel.

For my single camera drama short film I have decided to research the aspect of loosing a loved one or dealing with death within a family and how it affect life moving on as well as the people left behinds view on it.

I gathered this research from this link http://www.healthyplace.com/depression/grief/coping-with-loss-bereavement-and-grief/menu-id-68/

‘ the loss of a loved one can cause emotional stress and turmoil and an emotional crisis’ within the person.

After the death of a loved one you go through a grieving process but there is no right or wrong way to grieve as it is indivudual to each person. The process generally brings up common emotions but these can be in any order the person experiences  them in.

The common emotions are:

• Denial
• Disbelief
• Confusion
• Shock
• Sadness
• Yearning
• Anger
• Humiliation
• Despair
• Guilt